Orange Pants, Milk Cartons, & Midnight Rendezvous
by zuz
Summary: RH have you ever got into a really bad laundry problem? mix in a bit of an arrogant Malfoy, a clueless Harry, and gossip queen Parvati and you get one hell of a day. Rated T just bc I wouldn't want my 9 yr old sis to read this. plz, R
1. Chapter 1

**A/N-This is my first fic. I do not promise to upload fast, so to encourage me to do so, please R&R. No, that does not mean ****Rest and Relax. I'm really sorry about the possible spelling errors, I desperately NEED a beta.**

**Disclaimer: fan fiction-noun; a fictional account written by a fan of a show, movie, book, or video game to explore themes and ideas that will not or cannot be explored via the originating medium. Is it clear enough that I do not own HP (though I wish I did).**

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**Chapter 1** - 

She sat down on her bed, head in her hands and attempted to calm down. a few nights of helping Ron and Harry with THEIR problems as well as her studying had left her completely disorganized. Most people thought that cleanliness and organization were as natural to her as her love of school, but it was not so. She spent nearly an hour every night cleaning up the dormitory; putting everything in its correct place. Her pack-ratting tendencies did not help either. She had a stash of ALL her school papers from the previous years under her bed, all organized by subject, year, and date. So when she woke up this morning to find all of her jeans in the dirty laundry basket, she felt lost.

"Out of bed, you sleepyhead!" a little redhead chimed from the door, "Hurry up Herms, breakfast ends in fifteen minutes an you're sitting here in a towel. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong Gin, I'm just tired. " she lied, "Are Harry and Ron up yet?"

"I think so, but I'd better go check on them just to make sure. Hurry up!" and with that she was gone.

"I cannot believe I could have gotten my laundry into this much of a mess!" she thought out loud, "I cannot wear my other jeans again, that's just grose." Another unsuccessful search of her wardrobe followed. I the end, she found some bright orange pants her mother had given her that summer. Looking at the clock, she realized she did not have time for anything else, those pants were her last chance. She quickly pulled them on along with some clean, but unfortunately mismatched socks (one was tie-dyed green and the other had blue and purple stripes), a black and pink top that scooped down a bit too low for her comfort (her last clean shirt), and took her cloak along. On her way down the girl's staircase, she cast a charm on her hair to calm it down. Then she realized that she forgot to take her bag and had to dash back up and get it. She fumbled with the doorknob until the door flew open by a burst of uncontrolled magic. Everything would have been fine except Parvati just had to choose that moment to come up to the dormitory and the door hit her. Hard. Herms muttered "sorry" and rushed to get to the great hall.

She glanced down at her watch and realized she still had seven minutes until the bell rang. she was surprised by this but grateful. PMS tended to increase her appetite hugely and she missed dinner because of homework. Snape had assigned a four foot essay on the use of the syrup of hellebore.

After the mad dash to get down there, she was really glad to see that Harry and Ron had saved a seat for her. She sat down and piled food on her plate more energetically than even Ron. Two pancakes drowned in syrup were quickly followed by a blueberry muffin and a bowl of cereal. She washed it down with a goblet of orange juice. In the middle of spreading jelly on her toast and biscuit, she noticed that Harry was talking to her. Let me rephrase that, screaming at her.

"HERMIONE, will you listen to me?"

Startled, she looked up, "Yes, I'm listening."

"Good, ...Now I forgot what I was going to say."

Thankfully, the bell rang just then and he and Ron had to run off to charms. She was left in peace to wrap her piece of toast and jelly biscuit in a napkin so she could eat them in arithmancy.

-(!)-

The professor was slightly blind so everyone could get away with stuff. Others abused the privilege (by abused I mean, molested, decapitated, and used necromancy to bring it back to life) but she only ate her breakfast in there and sometimes passed a note or two to her friend from Ravenclaw - Alexandria Eyleen, Andy for short.** (A/N I know it should be Alex, but I like Andy better. I think she does too.)**

As soon as she entered the class, Mr. Dragon Of Bad Faith. decided to comment on her outfit, "Halloween is two weeks away, Granger" She decided to ignore him and went to her desk. She found it hard to concentrate on the lesson (a muggle way of coding using matrices) due to a little paper bird gnashing at the back of her neck. She lasted another five whole seconds of enduring the annoyance that felt like paper cuts getting salted lemon juice squished on them before she turned and grabbed the origami by the throat and opened the note. it was from no other than the infamous Malfoy Junior.

_Mudblood, If you're wearing those beauties to get someone's attention, you're on the wrong track. I could give you some tips if you meet me in the Slytherin locker room this afternoon right after dinner. I might just be able to help, or at least, pull them off of you._

_signed, _

_the hottest guy in the school, if you just allowed yourself to admit it_

Before she even finished the first note, another one was rolling itself up next to her ear like a pencil. This one was from Andy.

_Herms, I LOVE your orange...ummm...jean like thingies. You know, you can wear them at other times too, not just on Halloween._

_with hugs and kisses from that special someone you're thinking about but won't tell me who it is, _

_Andy_

Embarrassed, she stuffed the letters in her bag and attempted to take notes until the end of class.

-(!)-

Her before lunch class was free ever since she dropped muggle studies. She went back to Gryffindor tower to get started on the project that Professor Vector had just assigned, but, instead, she was greeted by Ron screaming, "Pumpkin, I need your help on this homework! Flitwick said to describe the six advantages to non verbal spells and I can only remember four."

She walked over, surprised at her new nickname, but she attributed it to her outfit, "You don't have 'saving your vocal cords' or 'protecting the eardrums of those around you'"

"Thanks, you're a lifesaver, though I did choke on one of those once." he replied scribbling away.

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**A/N-I still have a little bit of this story written, so I might update it soon. remember to R&R. it only takes a few seconds of your time, but it maks me happy. and you know that when I'm happy, I will have the motivation to type up another chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: fan fiction-noun; a fictional account written by a fan of a show, movie, book, or video game to explore themes and ideas that will not or cannot be explored via the originating medium. Is it clear enough that I do not own HP (though I wish I did).**

**A/N-I'm sorry it took me so long to get this up. I had it written a while ago, but I couldn't get it typed up for a long time, especially when real life got in the way(not that I mind, for those that know what happened ;) ) Also, sorry it's so short, I'll have the next chapter up soon, so take this as part one of a longer chapter.**

**Ps-I need a beta, I really suck at proofreading my own stuff, so if you're interested, just email me.**

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**Erin: well, here it is! Btw-I know I promised a new character, u'll c it soon, I hope, I just couldn't fit it into this one.**

**monsterbookofmonsters: Thanx for telling me about that typo, it should be fixed now. New character? where?**

**SuperSammie325 :) - I tried to think of what else to say, but I couldn't come up w/ anything**

**Thanx to everyone who reviewed! it made my day to get an email saying that someone reviewed :D**

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**Chapter 2:**

The next day after lunch, Ron came through the portrait hole with his arm in a sling. He noticed Hermione in just a few seconds, sitting in her favorite overstuffed armchair by the fire, and attempted to wave. It is unnecessary to add that he failed miserably, with his only good arm carrying a split bag drenched in multi-colored ink. He turned the color of his hair and said, "Hey pumpkin, do you have any idea what that b did to me?"

Confused, she retorted, "What and Who?"

"Malfoy! He snuck up from behind me and made my bag explode while I was at the top of the stairs. I freaked out and rolled down about thirty four steps, mind you, they were stone without carpet, before finally stopping at the feet of Filch. He gave me a detention to scrub desks off spilled ink and writing. And-"

"Ok, Ron, I'm pretty sure I get the point."

"No, you don't. Now the whole school is going to know about how I fell down the stairs. And I have to clean all the desks in McGonagall's classroom, you know how much there is?"

"I KNOW RON!" she interrupted, "But please, calm down, your yelling will not help the situation any."

"All right, 'Mione, I get the point. But I still have to scrub desks because of that arrogant- all right, I wont say it-Malfoy."

"Calm down Ron. Make sure you avoid him from now on and I know a spell that might just help"

"A spell to keep Malfoy away? Awesome!"

"No, Ron, a spell to clean desks, although a specified banishing spell might do the trick, except it's illegal."

"Won't work. Filch said no magic."

"And you're supposed to do your homework, not copy. I'll charm a rag for you, and while he's not looking, you switch them"

"Brilliant. Thanks Pumpkin." and he was gone.

This left Hermione to wonder about her new nicknames; Pumpkin and 'Mione. No one ever called her 'Mione. They used her full name, or 'Herms' when in a hurry. Also, Pumpkin. She was wearing jeans today and most of the school had completely forgotten yesterday's incident. Most, except Malfoy, and now, apparently, Ron. After she had declined meeting him, he had found it necessary to announce (in the middle of Potions, mind you) that she was incapable of getting a boyfriend because the "muggle way" was not working. At this, Snape took five points from Gryffindor because Hermione had dared to be the point of the comment that interrupted the class while they were making a very important stalker repelling potion which, when wrongly made, caused blindness. He then made everyone who had dared to move 'test' their potion.

Ron was a completely different story altogether. His memory did not seem to be useful in any ways other than remembering exactly what would be for lunch the next day. She hated to have to admit it to herself, but a small part of her hoped that there was a reason behind the nickname.

She had promised herself on the train ride to Hogwarts two years ago that she would not get another 'crush' again. It turns out that Victor Krum decided halfway through the summer that she was not 'worth his time' and ruthlessly informed her that he was going out with a Russian chaser named Olga. Unfortunately, her hormones were against her now. Every time she saw Ron, she felt like she missed a step going down. She hid it, and never even told Ginny a word.

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**A/N- I know it's short, again, its part one of a longer chapter. Please REVIEW! it only takes a few moments for you to do, and it just makes my day. Constructive criticism is welcome! Also, if you hated it, tell me.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: fan fiction-noun; a fictional account written by a fan of a show, movie, book, or video game to explore themes and ideas that will not or cannot be explored via the originating medium. Is it clear enough that I do not own HP (though I wish I did).**

**A/N-Well, here it is, like I promised. Thanks to everyone and please R&R.**

**Replies to reviews, and other comments:**

**SuperSammie325: I'm sorry it took me so long to get chapter 2 up, but I hope this makes up for it, 2 chapters in two days. The milk cartons will come in later chapters, as will the other part of the title. At first, this was planned as a 3 chapter story, but I keep on getting more ideas on how to expand it. **

**Erin: Well, the character named after you is in here, and I already warned you that you wouldn't like it. Feel free to kill me if you like, but remember, I'm the only one that knows what is going to happen...**

Finally, the weekend arrived; she had two whole days to catch up on homework and get her life back together. Also, she planned on doing something _special_ for Halloween. She had always loved the holiday as a child and hated not being able to trick-or-treat now that she was older. For the prank, she would need help from people she was not too fond of having to ask for their help, but it would be well worth it.

Ron still hadn't stopped with the nicknames, and now had added a new one, Mia. She had no idea where it came from, but did not have enough backbone to ask.

Wednesday (October 31st) slowly crept closer, and she had trouble not revealing the joke. At one point, when Erin, a Slytherin, very much like Pansy, announced to the whole corridor, "I'm so excited, Drakie finally asked me out! I knew he wouldn't be able to hide his feelings much longer!" she almost gave the secret away. She was worried that Erin's exclamation would ruin the whole thing, but luckily, everyone knew about Erin's fondness of making up gossip, so they just added her remark to the ever growing list of lies she had made up.

When the day finally arrived, she woke up early and put on the outfit she had planned the night before: A barely above the knee black skirt with silver trim and strands of silver beads nearly five centimeters long hanging down from the bottom of it, and from the pockets; a dark green tank top; and lots of make up. She put her hair up with two silver chopsticks and let a few strands hang down loosely around her face. Last, she put on several silver bracelets, and left the dorm.

-(!)-

FLASHBACK:

"Malfoy, I need your help."

"Ah, I knew you'd come 'round"

"No, not with that, please, can you manage to get your mind out of the gutter for five minutes?"

"But my manor is built in there..." he said with a hurt look.

"Get serious, please, I need your help with something. It's not everyday you get to see me begging you for help, and also, it's something you're not going to dislike doing so much. It's a prank"

"What's in it for me, Granger?"

"Getting to scare your friends silly. It's not every day they get to see you 'going out' with a 'stupid mudblood'"

"All right, if you add 'doing my homework for a week' to it, you've got a deal"

"Agreed."

"When do I have to do this?"

"Wednesday."

"All right, I'll meet you in the entrance hall then, honey"

She just glared at him.

"What? I'm just practicing being nice to you, Granger."

"Draco, it's Hermione."

END FLASHBACK

**A/N- Again, I know it's short, but anyone who has written fanfiction before will agree that finding a good break-off point is not as easy as it sounds. I don't promise to have chapter 4 up too soon; it's not written yet. Please Review, it only takes a moment. Constructive criticism and hate messages are just as welcome as anything else (in fact, if you tell me about a mistake, it's even more welcome than just a normal review). If you review, you can count on finding you name somewhere at the top of the next chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own only the things that you do not recognize, i.e.- the plot, Erin, and Andy.**

**A/N- I'm sorry it took me so terribly long to update. I know all of you thought I died, and I'm happy to inform you that I am very much alive. Sometimes when real life gets in the way, it's terribly annoying, but in this case, it was anything but annoying...anyways, chapter 4 is here. Enjoy, and R&R**

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**Erin: I am NOT jealous, but you have every reason to be...Pansy**

**me: I know, the uniforms thing wouldn't really work, but that's the point of fanfiction, right? I also updated my other chapters to get rid of typos. Thank you so much for the comments.**

**Santiva Potter: My best reviewer so far...Mia, that was just a name I saw in a few fics, and I thought it would suit her..this chapter's a little bit longer, but not by much.**

**Marie Fay: Sorry it took so long...**

**Eternal Sailor Darkness: Megan!...out.of.gutter.now! ok, I doubt it's too close, so don't even think about IT ;) I want my bday to be at another time so I can have an excuse 2 drag you over here...**

**Marauder4Ever: It's here, I know it took really long, but at least I didn't die, right?**

**A HUGE thank you to all the reviewers, and I hope to see more..these really make my day.**

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**Chapter 4:**

She managed to not trip on her heels all the way down to the entrance hall. As she was climbing down the last few marble steps, she glanced around and caught sight of one blond ferret waiting for her. He surrounded by what looked like at least half the Slytherin house, all waiting to see if the rumors that had spread though the school like wildfire the day before were true. Things were going well.

She reached the bottom and walked over to Malfoy-um-Draco with a huge smile plastered on her face. He swept her into a hug and continued on ignoring the rest of his "friends." Meanwhile, the Slytherins, especially Pansy and Erin, went off to tell everyone that the rumors were, indeed, true.

Herms and Malfoy entered the great hall holding hands after another ten minutes of being right in the middle of the entrance hall pretending they were madly in love with each other. He was thinking about the amount of soap it would take to wash off all the mudblood scum while she contained the little bit left in her stomach that was threatening to exit her the wrong way the next time she had to see the puppy-eyes he was giving her. They walked into the noise of about 500 people chatting during breakfast...but they all got quiet as soon as he got over the groseness of the situation and kissed her before they went to their tables. She walked to her usual seat and sat down as if nothing had happened at all. Harry got even paler. Ron looked as if he just received news that he was to have potions with Snape for the rest of his life. She was spooning out the last bit of milk from her cereal bowl when the retained control of their voices. Both at the same time.

"HERMIONE! You are such a traitor."

"How dare you?"

"We thought people were joking at first when they said you were going out with ferret-face."

"Please tell me this is not true, please!"

"Hermione, say something. Are you under Imperius, is he blackmailing you?"

She calmly replied, "I am not under any spell, except that of his beautiful silver eyes. He is not blackmailing me. He asked me out on Monday, when I went to the Quiddich Stadium to get some quiet time to think. He walked up from behind me and just asked me out. I don't understand why you both hate him. He is not like his father. He has grown out of that stage, he wants to be his own person. HE IS NOT DADDY'S BOY ANYMORE! Why don't you understand?"

"You are not yourself this morning." Harry said softly, "I'm not going to waste my time right now..."

"Please Hermione...Please?" Ron choked out, keeping back tears.

Though it broke her heart to do it, she replied, "I'm sorry Ron, Harry. It's my choice and you can't make it for me. I am my own woman now, and I have the right to decide who I want to go out with."

"Please?" Ron and Harry said simultaneously, but before she could reply, someone bent down over her shoulder and kissed her cheek.. She gathered her things and went with Malfoy-Draco, not glancing over her shoulder. Maybe this joke idea wasn't so great..

-(!)-

By the time Lunch rolled around, she was completely tired of the whole girlfriend with Malfoy thing. There was only so much time you can spend kissing your greatest enemy. Everyone was badgering her about it and Andy now had the impression that she finally found out Hermione's greatest secret. Oh, how wrong she was.

After another show to the school, she calmly walked over to her seat and gulped down as much food as she could.

"What's the hurry, going to the library to snog your BOYFRIEND for the rest of the lunch break?" Ron asked sorely.

"Not the library, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't use that as an insult." she responded.

"But you are going to snog him, aren't you?" He said in a voice even more hurt than before, though a great deal more angry.

"What I do with MY boyfriend in MY own free time is entirely MY business, not yours." She snapped back.

At this, Ron snatched up his bag and walked away from his unfinished plate. Harry soon followed, giving Hermione a glare meant to look angry, but all the hurt was still evident in his eyes. Oh, how she hated doing this to them. She had hoped that they would take it a bit better, but what was done was done. She took a sandwich and put it in her bag to eat later. Now, she had to go; Draco had just given her the signal that the game was about to continue.

-(!)-

At least their potions class was cancelled for today, due to the early Halloween feast. One less hour to spend with Draco. This was the only thought that kept her going through the day. Getting caught with him in every place the school had to offer and not kicking him in a place it would hurt most took up more energy than she could come up with. Harry had continued with ignoring her, and Ron was pleading with her every chance he got. She had to use all self control not to spill the beans, because it would completely destroy the prank. Was it still a prank now? And if it wasn't, what was it?

She had never looked forward to something and dreaded it so much at the same time. During the feast, she was supposed to "break-up" with Malfoy over something that was not yet decided upon. "Why can't I just disappear off the face of the Earth for once?" she thought to herself.

-(!)-

"Draco, this is not going to work." she told him right before the feast.

"Yes, it is, you just have to grit your teeth for a while, but everything is going to turn out fine." He replied.

They were standing by the huge oak doors of the great hall, five minutes before they were going to open. Needless to say, the entrance hall was crowded with all the hungry students and all eyes were on them. Hermione took all this in mind, and decided not to wait until dinner. She didn't have to wait until dinner to find an excuse to go talk to him, she could just get the whole thing out of the way right here, and be done with it. She did just what he told her to, grit her teeth and prayed that everything would work out.

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**A/N- I know, cliffie. I was planning on ending it a bit later, but I don't have time to finish writing it, and the chapter is getting a bit longer than it was meant to anyways. I'm hoping to get to work on this a bit more over the holidays, but if I don't, please do not hate me.**

**Merry Christmas (Hanukah, or any other holiday you may celebrate) and a Happy New Year! 2006, Hooray!**

**Oh yeah, now it's the time when you drag your mouse pointer to the little button down there and write a few words, constructive criticism is welcome...please tell me about the typos, I didn't have anyone other than Word spellcheck this thing...and I really like roasted marshmallows...**


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